Старо, зато кратко и доходчиво. И до странности точно:

Taoism: Shit happens
Hinduism: This shit happened before
Agnosticism: I don't know whether shit happens
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit
Atheism: There is no shit
Islam: If shit happens, it's the will of Allah
Protestantism: Shit won't happen, if I work harder
Confuzianism: Confuzius says "Shit happens"
Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserved it
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?